Hold Me
by Anniebear91
Summary: Miss N-dont read...please? Ryou is inlove with Bakura. How far will he go to get his approval? Contains...almost gory scenes. Bit of romance. Angst. Possible YAOI, shonenai, etc! NEW CHAPTER UP!
1. Alone

I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or any of its characters.

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I was laid on the bed. It wad dark outside, my eyes where closed and the bitter silence felt calming. I gently touched the satin sheets under my fingertips. I grasped them and fingered them gently. Drop. Drop. Drop. The angry rain raced at the window, I opened my eyes for a moment, just to daze at the beauty of the patterns, painted onto my window with the droplets. It felt to calm, so relaxing. Gazing at the cold, harsh rain, glowing on the glass with light shining in from the street. My eyes drifted downwards to the digital clock at my bedside. 02:41AM. I sighed. Guess he wasn't coming home tonight. I ran my hand through my white, tangled hair. Pulling my hand before my face, I cringed in disgust. My long slender hands matched the colour of my hair. White. Pale. A ghost. The sole purpose of my being is to die. It's why I am here. For him. For his amusement. To be beaten. To be hurt. To be used. I love him. I shouldn't, but I do. I tried so hard not to, to hate him for what he does to me, to hate him for bruising and beating me. But I love him. But I know that he could never love me.

A warm, smooth hand caressed my face. I opened my eyes. Before me stood the object of my desire. My Yami. My Bakura. I stared into his terrifying red eyes. He smirked; it was never good when he smirked. I backed down the bed, hitting my head on the bed post. I yelped. I shouldn't have done that. Pain shows weakness, and the weak don't deserve to live. I tensed, awaiting my beating. I looked away-I can't look into his eyes, it'll only make the pain worse. I won't do it. I am weak.

He leans in. I can smell the alcohol on his breath. He clumsily pulls my face to his, gripping my collar.

"What…have…you-been-doing?" He shakes me around involuntary. I cannot lie to him; he can read my thoughts, my feelings. He is me.

"Cooking, your dinner is in the fridge, and then I cleaned the living room and went to bed." He frowned at me. His eyes could burn through my skull, I swear. He takes hold of a lock of my hair tightly and violently throws me across the bed.

"B-B-Bakura?" I stuttered. Weakness.

"You're pathetic Ryou, do you know that?" I solemnly nod. I know I'm weak Bakura. I know I'm Pathetic. I love you. "I don't tolerate weakness." I swallow hard awaiting my punishment.

"Y-Y-Yes, Bakura." I turn away sharply as his fist connects with my cheek. I shut my eyes, feeling the blows to my ribs, to my legs, to my head. I can feel something ripping, slowly up my arm. I can feel liquid flow down the indent. I open my eyes to see my arm bleeding slowly, one sight of the passionate red liquid, and my world turns to black once more.


	2. Freinds

It's gotten cold. Where am I? I want so badly to open my eyes-but I'm too scared. Too weak. I feel something cold, most likely metal touch my shoulder and I squeeze my eyes shut tighter. I feel the metal on my shoulder again, but harsher. It comes down so fast, with amazing weight. I can hear it fall. I feel myself scream. Bakura forgive me-I didn't want to.

"Hikari. You sound like a girl."

"Gomen…gomen…" I whisper. I feel the cold metal slice my shoulder again. "Gomen!"

"Do not apologise." I can feel the venom in his voice. I relax a little. "Apologising shows weakness." I breathe in sharply.

"Yes. Bakura." Slowly I open my eyes. The light is dazzling, and so I pause, shielding my vision with my hands. Gradually I get used to the light, and I gaze up into Bakura's shining red eyes. They sparkle in the light and his soft white hair shimmers. I reach up to touch it; to feel it in my hands, but I withdraw my hand-he would never allow me to do such a thing. I want to tell him how much I love him, how much I care. I'll never do it. I'm too weak.

"Get up." He orders simply, the power of his voice moves me, I don't even think. I stand before my yami. He's clad in a brown jumper and jeans, it's so unlike him to dress warmly-I often doubt he feels the cold. I often doubt he feels anything, any temperature, any pain, any _emotions._ Bakura firmly grips my shoulders. He looks me up and down, before pushing me backwards. I fell to the floor, it's so cold, why is it so cold? Where are we?

"Bakura, where are we?"

"The warehouse." The warehouse…warehouse? Oh, I remember, the abandoned buildings near the docks, where there's a lot of gangs, a lot of crimes…a lot of murders.

"Why are we here?" I love Bakura. I want his approval. I will **not** show weakness.

"Aren't you been brave, asking questions?" I smile internally. It's something that anyone could do, an everyday task, but to me it's like climbing a mountain. I'm proud.

"Bakura, why are we here?" I'm starting to scare myself.

"Say it again, Hikari."

"Why are we here?"

"Wow, getting very brave, answering back. Well dear hikari, I have a little test for you."

"A…test?" What does he mean a test? What's all the about.

"Yes. A test. You're not afraid are you?" Yes, I am. I'm terrified. I need Bakura's approval.

"Of course not." Bakura smiles. Nothing evil, nothing devious, but an honest smile. I hope he's proud of me. It means so much to me.

"Open your hand koi." Koi! He called me koi! Trying to fight back tears of joy I hold out my left hand. Bakura looks down at it and smirks. He digs his hand into his pocket and pulls out a dagger. I look up at him as he places it in my palm. I run my fingers across the blade. It's smooth, cold and untainted. Like Bakura.

"What's it for?"

"Follow me." He begins walking off. I tag along.

As we walk through the warehouse, the light slowly fades, and my foot steps echo. I look around, the walls are light blue, but shadows are cast from huge girders in the ceiling. The ceiling is pretty high up actually. Well I guess it doesn't matter. Or does it? I still want to know why we are here. As we continued to walk down the endless corridors, I heard a faint mumble. I knew it wasn't Bakura, if he's got something to say, he says it. I heard it again. What is that sound? And again…it's getting kind of creepy now. I'm not afraid. I won't have all the praise taken back. I am Bakura's koi.

"Bakura, what's that mumbling?" Bakura stopped and half turned towards me, leering.

"You're going to find out." As he turns around, I grasp the knife tightly, so tight, I am sure I just made one of m fingers bleed. At the end of the corridor, there seems to be some doors, maybe 5 or 6. Bakura calmly walks forward and twists the handle on one of them. The mumbling gets louder. I hold the knife close to me, as if it was a teddy or something.

"Surprise." Bakura says, smiling and he nods his head towards the left wall.

There, tied by a thick, long rope at the hands, dangles non other than Yugi Motou. Gagged, kicking and struggling. I look towards Bakura, confused. Why is one of my best friends in this warehouse? Bakura sees the look in my eyes and sends a laugh through the mind link. Yugi looks at me with pleading eyes.

"Kill him." Bakura says calmly.


	3. Yugi

…Kill…Yugi? Bakura must be kidding. He's one of my best friends, I can't do it. I won't do it.

"Bakura, I can't do it." Bakura glared at me. It scares me so much when he does that, it shows how disappointed he is in me. I hold the knife tightly and look down at it glimmer in the stream of sunshine from a high up window. I swallow. Hard. Slowly I walk up to Yugi, and glare into his huge purple eyes, pleading me not to. I glance at Bakura. He nods. My brown eyes scan Yugi. He's afraid. He's alone. Alone. The pharaoh isn't here to save him. I look away and plunge the knife in Yugi's direction. I hear a gasp, and more mumbles. I don't want to look. So I search for Bakura, in need to advice, and security. He smiles at me and his eyes tell me to continue. I slowly turn my head to look at the damage I did. Yugi's face is pained and his body clenched, I look downwards towards his stomach, where blood oozes out through the leather shirt. He looks into my eyes, straight into my soul; tears fill my eyes and roll down my cheeks. I can't do this! I can feel both of them looking at me, both willing me to do what the other doesn't. I take in a deep breath. I can't handle this! I stand and try to balance, I feel dizzy and sick. I look at Yugi, his pleading eyes and I loose control, the guilt wells up and I can't take it anymore! I fling the knife around, hearing rips and tears and ear spitting screams. After my frenzy I open my eyes. I don't remember shutting them, but I look at Yugi. I look at what I have done. He's almost unidentifiable. His right arm is barely a part of him. He's covered in scratches, in haemorrhages and in punctures. His eyes are still open, and they're still glaring at me. MAKE IT STOP! I look down at my blood covered hands and the red stained shirt. I killed Yugi Motou. The ultimate betrayal. And I did it. I feel Bakura's soft eyes on me. I close my eyes and fall so my knees, and weep softly. Yugi's gone forever. The boy who helped me through so much. He's gone, I killed him. I'm a murderer. Murderer.

"Well done, Koi." I look up to Bakura stranding over me and throw myself around his legs and cry. I can't take it. I can't think straight. I don't want to look at Yugi. I don't want to open my eyes. There was no reason to kill him, to hurt him. I'm a horrible person. I deserve to die. I cry more and more, fisting Bakura's trousers.'

"B...Bakura." I whisper his name. He kneels down and holds me. I lean into his shoulder and cry. He's holding me. Gently caressing my back. The images of Yugi subside for a moment.

"Yugi! Bakura!" I look up to see non other than Joey wheeler, stood in shock at the door, at me, at Yugi and at the blood, on my hands.


	4. Joey

Joey…Oh no please…this can't be happening. I've been…caught. My whole body ached in pain, with sorrow, remorse and guilt. I felt sick. I couldn't breathe. I looked up at Joey. I knew what Bakura was thinking, we share a mind link…he wants me to kill Joey. I stood up. Bakura needn't ask. I'll make him proud. I'll do it alone. What's happening to me, I shouldn't think like this, sadistically, I shouldn't want to hurt others for my own selfish needs. Bakura should do this. I feel his arms drop from me. I'm stood up. Shaking. Slowly, I walk over to my knife and pick it up. I look at Joey. He looks concerned. I limp over to him, looking him in the eyes all the way. He takes a step back and I run at him with the knife. He abruptly takes a step to the side, causing me to fall to the floor. He looks down at me, hands in pockets. He calmly put his foot on my chest, insuring I wouldn't move.

"So, come on Bakura, what's all dis about, eh?" I look away. I don't have to answer. He presses his foot into me.

"What?" I snap. I don't want this. I didn't want to murder Yugi. I had to. I needed the approval. It means more to me than anyone's life.

"Who did it Bakura?" Joey looked at me, disgusted. I looked him in the eye and narrowed mine, and shouted bitterly at him,

"I did it." He looked shocked to say the least. I wriggled under his grip. I felt Bakura look at me, proudly.

"Ryou, why?" Joey looked at me, straight into my eyes. His deep brown orbs seemed so soft, so innocent to what I had done.

"I...I…I, can't explain." I stuttered honestly. I couldn't, not to Joey; I need to kill him, so as not to feel bad for his well being. Gently he lifted his foot and I stood up. I glared at him, to receive a weak smile. As soon as I had gained his trust I forced the blade at him, only to find him grab my hand, then my arm and spin me so I was looking away from him.

"Nice try, 'Kura." I could feel his breath on my neck, his smile. I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I think Joey's smarter than he looks. Two can play at this game. I sharply kicked Joey in the shin and darted at his face to get an aggressive punch in the jaw and soon after a second to my stomach. Taking deep breaths I launched myself at Joey again and tackled him to the floor. Joey kicked my jaw sharply and I also fell to the floor. I wiped the blood from my lip; I was used to this sort of pain. Joey straddled my waist and held his fist above my nose. His nose was cut and he had small slashes down his cheeks.

"So, Bakura, you play dirty, eh? Welcome to the real world" And with that, he dealt me one final blow in my face. I blacked out.

I awoke, still in the warehouse, aching and bleeding. I looked around to find myself alone. Bakura had left me. How could he? I thought…it doesn't matter what I thought. It never happened. …Wait, I can hear footsteps. My eyes drift lazily around the room. Kaiba? Joey? What are they doing here? Oh…I remember why Joey is…but Kaiba?

"Wakey,-Wakey" Joey said almost laughing. "Did Bakura never teach you not to mess with the big boys?" I wanted to hurt him. I growled and tried to sit up. "Woah calm down, man." Joey ran over to me and put his arm around me. "You ain't in any shape to be going nowhere." I looked at him, angry.

"As much as I hate to agree, the mutt's right. You're going nowhere." Kaiba gracefully walked over.

"Hey, who da hell you callin a mutt, moneybags?" Kaiba moaned. I don't think he's in a mood for an argument. Why is he here anyway, doesn't he have a meeting or something.

"Bakura left around an hour ago…" Joey said, glancing around.

"Apparently you blacked out. And puppy isn't trained in first aid."

"Kaiba…I swear to god…"

"So, he had to call his master to come and sort you out. Isn't he pathetic? Now Bakura, you better not waist my time."

"Er…" is all I could manage between the quarrel between Kaiba and Joey. Eventually the stopped and Kaiba prodded my wounds, asking how they felt. Painful, of course. So I was asked where I was going to go, and when I said home, both Joey and Kaiba looked shocked…I don't know why.

"No way, we letting you go back there, man." Joey whispered frowning. "We know Bakura beats you, it won't do ya any good pal."

"But, Joey, I love him!" Damn! No! I take it back, I didn't say it…

"WHAT!?" Kaiba and Joey stared at me in aw.


	5. Home

I said it out loud. I love Bakura. Damn I wish I could take those words back. I looked around to change the subject, anything I could see would do. Yugi. He died. He really did die. I can see his…corpse, if it can be called that. It's so badly mutilated. Only the hair shows it's him. …why isn't Joey mad at me? I killed his best friend…why hasn't Joey killed me? When I was asleep, or when he had the chance in our fight?

"Joey…" I start, he looks at me, and still gaping over the fact I love Bakura.

"Yeah, Ryou…" he looks a little distant. Well, it has been a busy day…I mean, think about it, his best mate died and his murderer is in love with his Yami. Great. It's been longer on my part actually. I wonder what time it is…

"Um…don't you feel bad, about Yugi? Why haven't you tried to kill me? I killed your best friend…"

"Well, I kinda worked out that ya would never do anytin like dat unless Bakura possessed ya or somtin, so rich-boy here called the cops and dey're afta Bakura." What?! He thinks I was possessed…what!? I can't believe it. Well, I can. I'm not the murderous kind of person really.

"Joey…you have it all wrong. I did it on free will." Joey smiled and messed my hair up. I pouted.

"Ryou, don't worry bout it bud, we'll have Bakura caught and you won't have to worry bout him no more." He thinks I'm defending Bakura. And Bakura is going to think I told everyone he killed Yugi. My head hurts, this is insanity.

"Joey. Kaiba. Listen to me, please? I am not insane, I am not defending Bakura, I am not possessed. I killed Yugi. On free will. I wasn't forced." I sighed. This day was about to get longer.

"…But why, Ryou?" Joey's huge eyes saddened. "Why…?" he whispered softly, begging to cry. Joey Wheeler, going soft, who knew? His best friend has just died, so I guess its appropriate. I watched as Joey fell to his knees sobbing loudly. Punching the floor, screaming. Kaiba crouched down and put his arms around Joey, gently caressing his hair.

"There, there puppy, it's alright, it's going to be fine…" …Kaiba…is hugging Joey…what? I'm insane, I really have flipped. Murdering Yugi has sent me over the edge, into insanity. I've gone mad. Oh dear Ra.

"Err…" I moaned in confusion. Joey looks up at me from Kaiba's arms. He smiles weakly, and nuzzles back into Kaiba's chest. Kaiba gently nudged Joey, of who shook his head and gripped his guardian's white trench coat.

"Puppy, I think we confused him. Sorry Ryou, me and Joey have been going out for a few months…" He started talking about something, but I couldn't focus…Joey…and Seto Kaiba? I felt like I was about to faint.

"Mhmm…shorhy weh dihnth shayh hanyhtinh." I guess that was Joey apologising?

"Well, why has Joey only started crying now, he knew Yugi died, so why cry now?" I look quizzically at Kaiba.

"Well, because he assumed Bakura did it, he was angry, and the anger over whelmed his sorrow. But finding out you, of all people, killed his best friend, I guess he's disappointed in you, he didn't expect this." Disappointed. Yeah me too. I feel awful. I need to get home. Get away from all of this.

"So, how come you aren't mad at me?" I looked at them, I needed to know why,

"Well, I guess you're our friend too, and if Yugi's dead, he's dead. It can't be changed. We got angry at Bakura, because he's, well limitless, one person wont matter to him, a death to Bakura is in the scheme of something bigger. But, well, we know you will have had a reason, a really good one, to push you so far as to kill Yugi, so we wont pressure you into telling us what, if its personal." They understand, I'm relived. It's a pathetic reason not to get mad, but I guess between them both they've killed a few people themselves. In fact, I know they have. Kaiba killed his own step-father.

"Thank you," I whisper, and bow my head. "I need to get home. I'm sorry." They look at me, shaking their heads, I know they care but I have to leave. I find the knife a few feet away, crawl over to it and examine it. It's warm from the dried blood. Dull. It seems lifeless, as if it had a life before, and it's now dead. I sniffle and get to my feet. This knife needs cleaning. So do I. I set off out of the warehouse, with a different perspective to life as when I went in. It's a tiny thread, between life and dead, one cut, and it's over. So simple, but the consequences never end, they're so complex, so…unlimited.

I trudge down the docks, covered still in blood. I must look a picture. I stare out at the boats, floating gently on the sea. It all feels so calm. It's getting a little darker. Twilight. My face is gleaming in the shadows, my hair falls before my eyes, as not to see my silent tears. One drop, two drop, it's raining. I breathe in slowly and look up to the dark clouds. After what's happened today, the downpour seems predictable, but it makes me feel better. Rain is calming, soothing, it washes things away. It's getting slowly colder. It won't bother me, I'm almost home, a few more minuets. My eyes cast downwards, to the filthy floors of backstreets and alleyways. Graffiti sprayed onto every wall, loud music, and random screams. The rough side of town. Fitting that Bakura and I live here, is it not? Well, our house is on the corner, it's a little safer than the other houses, it's towards the end of the alleyways, where light can shine through the window. It shines into my room, Bakura hates the light-but I love it. It's what makes me feel safe, and warm. I can see out house. I search my pocket for the keys. After I've found them, I fumble them into the lock and push the door open with my head down. I walk in to find the house dark, and I can hear a faint noise coming from the living room. As I get closer, I can see a blue light, flickering through the crack in the door. Bakura's home. I tear my gaze away from the door and drag myself upstairs. I don't want to turn an upstairs light on, so I feel my way to the bathroom. Once inside, I shuffle around to find the light. Drop my coat off, which has the knife in and look at myself in the mirror. My hair's a mess. I have dried blood in a streak on my chin and from my nose. I have dried blood which isn't my own across my forehead and cheek; I touch it lightly and close my eyes. I run my finger down the blood streaks and sigh. I open my eyes; the deep red makes my skin look white. My eyes are blood shot. I hate the sight of myself, more than I usually do. I punch the mirror and pull my shirt off. I throw my shirt at the wall and watch it fall, the blood is still visible. I fall to me knees and punch the floor, clench my eyes shut and stare upwards. I clumsily get to my feet and unfasten my belt. I feel my jeans fall off, and I tear away the boxers. Kicking off my socks, I run a hand through my hair and step into the shower. I touch the cold handle and feel the warm, steamy water flow over me. It almost burns me, after the harsh, bitter winds I walked home on. I close my eyes and gently caress my skin with soap. Cleaning myself thoroughly. I thought of Yugi. The last image of his life, the first images of his death, burned into my brain. I couldn't get them out. Bakura's razor. I didn't have one, I've never needed one. I pressed the object to my wrist. It felt cold on my hot skin, a heaven, an escape. I swallowed, hard. I'd never done this before. I closed my eyes and dragged the blades up my wrist. I choked out a cry. It hurt. I liked it. I dragged it further, feeling the warm liquid pour from my veins. I'm in control; I can stop when I want. It feels so freeing, doing it myself rather than Bakura hurting me. I dropped the razor as a sharp burning pain stung my wrists. I fell to my knees in the shower, looking down I could see the red water flow away.


	6. Blood

I sat on my knees and watched the blood, swirl and twirl, I felt relaxed. Watching my blood flow away, felt like my anger, my pain and my guilt flowing away. I looked at my wrists, the deep incision would not go unnoticed, and I was starting to feel weak. I'm not an idiot, I know that I need to bandage up, or I'll die. So I reach for the handle and pull it down. Consequently it pulls me up and I stand shakily. I steadily get out of the shower, and before stumbling over to the cabinet, I take a last look into the bath, and the blood stream rushing away. I cover my wrist with my hand, and use the injured one to find a bandage. Getting blood on the bathroom floor would be like suicide, Bakura is a messy person, but he's very…proper, when it comes to bathrooms. He doesn't particularly use it, or anything in it, which is disgusting, but because I do, any mess is mine, and he says I shouldn't mess things up. Illogical. But I abide by his rules and keep the bathroom clean, I wonder if its for when we have guests…so that they don't expect he messed it up. Whatever. It stays clean, and blood is annoying to clean up. So, I reach into the cabinet, my arm burning horrifically. I clench my teeth, hold my breath and bear it. I am not weak. I root through the boxes and shelves and finally find a roll of bandage, and a few safety pins and surgical tape. Great. We have some; I haven't used it all up. Carefully, I steady myself to the floor, where I sit and bind my wounds. I feel better already. Maybe I should have used antiseptic. Its too late now, I'll survive. Carefully, I reach for the towel. I love towels. I don't know why, I just do. I love how fluffy and pure and clean they look. I smile to myself at one of my simple comforts and dry myself off. I wrap the towel around my waist and pick up my clothes and dump them in the laundry. That blood is going to take along time to come off. I sigh, no point fretting, it has to be done. Slowly I walk to my bedroom, and touch the cold brass doorknob, turning it left, I enter my room. I flick the switch by the door and saunter over to the bed. I feel woozy. I let myself drop onto the cotton sheets. I tip my head back and feel the mellow sunset cast upon me. The deep orange light highlights my pale blue walls purple. Evening, my favourite time of the day. The world is full of shadows, full of mystery. I glance around my room. The digital alarm clock upon the bedside dresser, the engraved bedposts, ancient hieroglyphics, of course. I roll over onto my stomach, feeling my feet lift from the trodden down carpet. I reach out and touch the bedpost. I run my fingertips gently over the markings. Bakura wrote this for me. He did it when I first wrote the bed.

_**Flashback**_

"_What's that?"_

"_It's a bed frame, Bakura."_

"…_bed frame?"_

"_Yes, you put something soft in this gap here, a mattress, and you sleep on it."_

"_Oh, I know what it is. The rich people in my time had them. The bed post. We all had beds. Yours is a little plain isn't it?"_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_Where's all the writing, the text, the stories, theories, legends and quotes?" _

"_What do you mean, Bakura? This is what it should look like."_

"_Don't be stupid. It looks pathetic. Pass me a knife. Right…this here, says your name. …this…says where you are from…this…bit…here…talks about your personality, it says your weak, but have a strong will inside. This…part…here…is about the millennium ring…and this…this, is my name. Afieka, the stealer of souls and king of thieves."_

"_Bakura, that's your name, Afieka?"_

"_Yes. I am only called Bakura, as I am associated with you, as you are my reincarnation."_

"_But I cant be, your soul still lives."_

"_As does my blood line. …and this part here…says that."_

_**End Flashback.**_

Afieka. Stealer of souls. King of thieves. He stole my heart; I'm in love with a criminal…a relative. But we can't be related. Atem's father killed Bakura's entire town when Bakura was 6, maybe we are alike, coincidental. I'm not the reincarnation; otherwise, I would be him. I would be a …murderer. My hand touched the wood. I am weak, but I have a strong will inside. A strong will, determination. I suppose it's true, I'll do anything to receive Bakura's love. I need to get dressed. I let my head fall to the bed and I wait a few moments before rolling of the bed to my feet. Slowly I walk over to the built in wardrobe. I fling the doors open, and look for something to cover my arm. I find a long sleeved, polo-neck blue jumper. It will do. I take out some slacks and boxers from the drawer and dress myself. I go over to the mirror, run my fingers through my hair and exit my room. I get half way down the stairs, when I hear a string of curse words from Bakura. Crap. He's found the new toaster…3…2…1…

"BAKURA!!!" seen as I can't see my yami becoming schizophrenic, I figure out that was my name. I close my eyes for a second before running into the kitchen to see what he's done now. I come in, to find Bakura in the corner, against the wall, practically hugging it, staring at the new toaster. I knew it. I'm in love with an evil, sadomasochist, pyromaniac, toaster fearing thief. He's very unique. I look Bakura in the eyes, hiding my amusement, with a soft, comforting glare.

"What's wrong, Bakura?" I ask as sweetly as I can manage. He looks at me evilly and points at the toaster.

"THAT.THING.CAME.BACK.FROM.THE.SHADOW.REALM!" He's actually shaking.

"Bakura, it's a toaster. It will not hurt you purposely or directly. It will not foil your plans to rule the world, and it most defiantly will not steal the millennium items before you do." He looks at me unsure.

"But it…" here we go.

"It will not eat Malik's cat before you either."

"Are you sure?" IT'S A GOD DAMNED TOASTER, OF COURSE I AM SURE.

"Yes, Bakura, I am sure, the toaster has no evil intentions."

"Good." Slowly he shuffles out of the corner. "Meat." How polite.

"Yes, I'll cook it now."

"No, you won't. I ate it raw. You'll have to buy some." …one of Bakura's flaws, when he raids the fridge, he doesn't cook anything. He makes a huge mess and he will not stop eating until he falls asleep once he's tasted blood. I look around the kitchen. The white floor tiles are covered in meat stains. The cabinets and cupboards have messy finger-prints along them and…the new toaster has a knife mark in it. Where's the knife? I look over at Bakura, who's taken a knife of the table, and is now chewing and sucking on it intently. There's the knife. He looks so innocent when he does that. How anyone sucking a knife can look innocent is beyond me, but he manages it very well. I smile to myself and leave to the hallway to get my coat, to yet again buy 20kg of meat to last us until morning. I pick up the keys and wallet of the kitchen table and proceed to the door.

_NF: this chapter was a little different and less mellow sorry. I had to bring the toaster thing in. IT'S A KNOWN FACT lol. Bakura hates toasters._


	7. Angst

I pull my coat tighter; it's not gotten any warmer. In fact, I think it's colder. The winds also got a lot harsher; in consequence, the rain hit me so had I thought I was going to bleed. I carried on walking down the street; I watched the grey building pass me by, until I reached the supermarket. It wasn't far from my house, maybe not even two minuets. I looked upwards at the sign. Wal-Mart. I hate this shop with a passion. It's always full of housewives, gossiping, stood with small children, glaring at you as if you're some kind of imbecile. I wish looks could kill. They'd all be dead. No. no. no. I shouldn't think like that. I won't think like that. I am not Bakura. I am Ryou. I am Hikari, light, good. I will not convert to darkness. One little murderer doesn't make it ok to avenge everyone who has annoyed me in any way. I close my eyes for a few seconds and loosen my coat. I casually walk to the meat isle and order…a lot. The guy looks at me really funnily. Jesus.

"You having a party kid, or you going to the zoo?"…don't make me mad. Please. Not today.

"Actually, it's for my…brother." We look enough alike. DAMN that makes me feel incest. I am not. We aren't related.

"Your brother can eat 20kg of meat? You pass math kid? Sure you don't want 20g?" I feel insulted.

"For you're information, _sir_, I passed my math with a grade A. and yes, I do mean 20kg. And I would also like to point out that it is none of your damned business what I am buying." I take a step back and take a deep breath. I haven't done that before. But I had every right to. He insulted my intelligence, he insulted Bakura. I will not and cannot stand for it. Its times like this I actually WISH I was Bakura. I would have sent that dude to the shadow realm in a click of my fingers.

"…that's 10000yen please." I glare at him, and hand over the yen. I'm not showing gratitude though, that moron can kiss my ass. I walk through the other aisles and decide to treat myself, because it's been a darn hard day, and I am not in a good mood. So I buy 4 dragon fruits, a bag of apricots, some whipped cream, 4 bars of chocolate, a box of peeps, a romance movie that I didn't take much notice to and some 'relaxing' bubble bath. I am having a night to myself. Bakura can sit in the kitchen with his meat, and if he disturbs me, so help me god I'll buy a whole load of toasters and put them in his room for him to wake up to. That's how revolting I feel, so bad, I would dare go against Bakura, my ultimate fear. Go against the person I love. I pay for anything and try not to look at the greasy bitch behind the counter. I walk back out with million shopping bags into the rain. Its cold, it's wet and it hurts. I do not care right now. There could be an earthquake and I would not give a damn. I finally reach the front door and swing it open. It's way to quiet in here…where's Bakura?

"Bakura…Bakura? BA-KU-RA!" he isn't answering. I am not in the mood to play hide and hurt hikari. So I wander to the kitchen and throw the bags down. Bakura is still in the damned corner with that stupid knife. I look at him and shake my head.

"Why are you still in the corner?" his eyes turn nasty.

"Why are you talking to me like that?" grr.

"Answer my question, Bakura. Why are you still in the damned corner?"

"If you must know, I don't trust that toaster. And if you talk to me like that again, I'll have you in the shadow realm." Have me. Ha I wish.

"Bakura, I go to the shadow realm and you won't get any meat. I will also have a million toasters mailed to this house under your name. Take your choice. Either get out the damned corner and sit at the damned table or I buy a few hundred more toasters."

"Oh, aren't you been forceful. Shame I'm not scared."

"Bakura, I am not in the mood. Not today. Now do as I say."

"You have no power over me." I smirk. I walk over to the toaster and unplug it. Bakura watches me. I pick up the toaster and walk over to Bakura, caressing it.

"Well, see this? Make friends with it, because it'll be with you when you wake up tomorrow."

"You wouldn't. And I'd destroy it."

"I'll buy a hundred more as I said previously."

"With what money?" he doesn't think I thought this through. Bad news Baka Bakura, I have.

"Yours. I know your card details, and I know how much money you have in there, and how much of it is stolen." Bakura goes pale and promptly walks to the chair and sits down and folds his arms, unimpressed. Tough. I don't care tonight. I pull the meat out of the bag and literally throw it at him. He jumps and grabs it like some kind of animal, and devours it in the messiest way possible. He is going to clean that up. I stare at him. Forget it, I have the will power to ignore him. I turn around, and begin unpacking.

"Just so you know…" I started, "I'm having a solo party tonight, which means I am going to relax, with food and drink. Alone." I hear the chair move backwards.

"Fine. So long as you know understand this is my house too. And it's a Friday, which means I get the TV."

"Well, not today. The living room is mine. You can sit in the kitchen, bedroom, bathroom, shadow realm-whatever. I don't really care where you, just don't bother me."

"And here's me thinking you're a boy, Ryou."…what!?

"What?!" I ask snappily.

"Pre menstrual tension, koi?" he called me Koi! Yay. …he called me a girl.

"Bakura. I am a boy. I do not get PMT. It's just been a difficult day for me."

"Murdering Yugi and all." He had to bring it up. "What made you do that anyways?" he saunters over to me. I swallow, hard.

"You asked me to. I didn't know what to do."

"But you killed him, that isn't like you. Tell me koi, why?" I freeze as he places a hand on my waist, and my bad mood evaporates. I nervously turn my head to look at him, and I stare straight into his huge coffee eyes. I smile internally and I notice he smiles.

"I…I…" I feel my eyes drift shut, I can't speak. I hear Bakura breathing, and we're so close, I can feel his heart beat. My eyes are shut, I can't see anything, but I can feel him grip my tighter, his forefinger gently caressing my waist. My breathing slows down to his pace. Then I feel it. I feel his lips gently touch mine. A mere brush and it sends my heart racing. My eyes flutter open for a second, just to look at him. His eyes are closed also, he looks so vulnerable. His white locks hang before his eyes, and his face tinted slightly pink. I let my eyes drift shut again. Our lips are still touching. I feel Bakura put a little more pressure on, and I need air, so I open my mouth cautiously. I feel Bakura's tongue glide inside, I moaned. I reached down to hold his hand and laced my fingers through the hand that held me, making him hold me closer. I leant backwards and wrapped my free arm around his neck, pulling him deeper into the kiss. I'm pretty sure I heard him moan. God I hope so. I feel our tongues collide in a silent battle. I feel the kiss slow down and we pull apart, my eyes flurry open, and I stare into Bakura's orbs. He looks innocent, and that kiss felt magical, my stomach still feels tight, I lean back against him, and his arms encircle me. I know he meant that kiss. I turn to face him, still in his arms, and wrap both of mine around his neck. Our foreheads touch, and I feel Bakura lean in for our lips to slowly meet again, I'm ready this time, and my lips are slightly parted, out lips touch with electricity and our tongues dance. I am in love.


	8. Dirty

I lie on the bed, and stare into the crimson eyes of Bakura. Slowly he reached towards my shirt, and played around with the buttons, smiling to himself. I'm in heaven. Bakura seems completely different, ever since…since I killed Yugi. The memories come flooding back, but not just of his matted corpse, but of the good time we had together, as friends. I suddenly felt horrible, but I pushed the thoughts away, deciding what has been done cannot be changed and the only way is forward. By the time I'm thinking clearly, I'm almost naked, clad only in my boxers. I looked at Bakura, my vision clouded. I felt Bakura's sharp teeth on my neck, I felt him sucking, gently. It felt so magical, compared the bites I have received before from him. My breathing hitches, I guess he noticed, because he pulled away. He gazed into my eyes and smiled sweetly-if that's possible.

"Ryou?" he questioned. I looked back at him. It's almost like a mirror. Almost. "Ryou, listen to me, I am so proud of what you did today…" proud. I feel me stomach knot and twist. "But…I have a favour to ask of you." What? What could he possibly want? He tilt my head slightly and look at him in confusion. He places a hand to my cheek, his touch feather light. "You look so cute when you do that…" he breathes softly, "But to the point, Anzu? Sweetheart, please?" I think my heart stops beating. Kill. Anzu. What!?

"Ba-Bakura?!" I shout. I can't do that. "I can't. Yugi was bad enough." Bakura sighs and fall backs, and begins dressing again. I won't question it; I was a fool to think he liked me. He's using me. I feel dirty, although we've done nothing. My neck tingles and I raise my hand to it and caress it tenderly. Bakura got up and started walking to the door. He looked at me and paused,

"Aren't you going to ask where I am going?" I look blankly, I thought it was obvious. He's leaving, he didn't get what he wanted and now he wants to say it and make me feel bad too. Great.

"…Humour me, where are you going?" I ask bitterly. He smirks and I brace myself for a harsh, witty comment.

"Ryou, sex is no fun without cream and chocolate." With that he shut the door and I leant back on the bed. Sex. Oh my dear sweet lord! Maybe he does…like me. I close my eyes and begin to relax. Maybe he isn't as bad as I though. Wait a second, he said sex. Oh dear…Oh dear…I'm a virgin, what do I do? Oh my god…oh god. I spring from the bed and rush to the bathroom. Ok…ok…think of sex movies…erm-erm…darn it! Bruce Almighty? Ok close enough…erm, she put perfume on…I am not a girl, but it's all I have so I mess my hair up as if I am some crazed mad man (how ironic) and begin throwing things about the bathroom cupboard, searching for something half decent to put on, so I smell…not how I do now. I look at myself. Sexy…not so much as the tramp on the street corner after a thunder storm. I sigh. I'm not made for this kind of thing. Suddenly the door bell rings and I casually walk to go answer it. There stands Marik, eyeing me as if I am some kind of meat. What the hell is his problem? I follow his eyes down to realize I am stark damn naked. Instantly my eyes widen and my jaw drops, my face turns the flattering shade of a bruised strawberry and I grab the nearest item I can get hold of to consume what little dignity I have left. And there goes my dignity and Marik's sanity as he bursts out laughing-nothing to do with Bakura's porn magazine (which he binned apparently) which is now being held very sternly in front of my groin. I close my eyes. This is not happening.

"You smell very pretty Ryou." I can feel him smile. This isn't funny.

"Yeah well, go me. What do you want?"

"Woah woah woah! Sorry Bakura, thought you was Ryou then, ha-ha. High Five thief master!" he raises his hands.

"Not funny Marik, it _is_ Ryou."

"When did you get a personality transplant?"

"The same day you grew some balls. It never happened."

"Harsh words from a Hikari, such as yourself."

"Cut the crap, Ishtar. What the hell do you want?"

"What's wrong, have I interrupted a 'private' session" he sneers. I purse my lips and look away.

"You wish, pretty boy. Now what do you want?"

"'Kura in?"

"No. Now leave the hell off!" Marik reaches around and touches my bare ass. I laugh sarcastically and pull him hand off, only for him to slap him back on and grip my ass properly. "Leave the hell off." I shout.

"Why when you look so…adorable." He smirks and kisses my shocked lips.

"I AM NOT YOUR PET!" I scream and slap him and slam the door in his face. I turn around and sink down to the floor. First a murderer and now I look like a whore. What the hell next?


	9. Unaware

Slowly I opened my eyes, staring up into nothingness. Black? White? Strangely I didn't know. Was I dreaming? I pinched my arm, no, I am awake. I wander around, and my foot steps echo. I am not at home. I look around. This isn't the shadow realm either. Where I am I? I carry on walking forward, into…nothingness. There is nothing below, above or around me. I must admit, I am afraid. Suddenly a loud, booming voice throws me off balance, and I fall. Fall lower and lower into the endless nothingness. The voice becomes clearer to me, it is my own. The voice is challenging me, but the words are unclear. The voice sounds, so threatening; surely it cannot be my own? I close my eyes, in a silent plea for help, for understanding. The voice laughs, and the thundering echo fills the void. For the first time in what seems eternity, I understand the voice. It is not my own, it is Bakura's.

"Anzu." The name slices my heart as I remember Bakura's proposal.

"No!" I scream, as loud as I could ever possibly muster. "No, I won't!" I clutch my head, panicking. Screaming and ear splitting scream of great pain. My head feels as if it is being torn apart by savage hyenas. I continue to scream, praying that the sound will overbalance the pain. Nothing as such happens, and the voice gets louder, yet speaks for softly.

"I love you, Ryou." The words ricochet in the distance. I squeezed my eyes shut. Since Bakura came into my life, my heart beat each day, only to hear those words. I couldn't let them slide; I was hungry to hear them again.

"What, what do you want?" I whispered. The reply was delayed, and the silence wrapped itself around me.

"You know what I want, sweetie."

"Anzu." I stated simply. I could feel the agreement although no other words were said. I shook my head. I didn't know what was happening to me, I felt like I was dreaming, it was surreal, but when my eyes opened, in front of me was the same knife I used to kill Yugi, and there, behind the knife was a brown sack. Slowly, I pulled myself to my feet and took the knife. I staggered over and gently kicked the bag. It moved quickly and muffled sounds filled the room. I looked around. It was the warehouse, but a different room to before. There were crates here. Huge, box crates, full of god knows what. I looked up, the ceiling was high, about 10 storeys, and the walls where dismal grey, and the floor was cold. How did I get here? In fact, that doesn't matter. Who the hell is in the sack? I kick it again, and use the blade forcefully to rip the sack open. I wasn't at all surprised to find Anzu, tied up in there. When I think about it, there's no sport in letting her die bound. What kind of person would I be, if I didn't give her a chance to fend for herself? I looked at her softly; she looked so please to see me. Carefully I cut the ropes from her wrists, then her feet and untied her gag. Suddenly she let out a high pitch squeal and threw her arms around me.

"Ryou, I am so glad to see you!" I smiled, I'm sure I can play along for a little while. I smiled to myself and held her back. Suddenly I had the urge to toy with her, to play with her, just to add to the 'game' I was playing. I wasn't Ryou Bakura anymore. I didn't feel like him, so why should I act like him? Carefully I raised my hands up Anzu's back until she pulled away and looked at me. Slowly I edged my face closer to hers, she looked shocked, and then, I closed my eyes, and kissed her softly, Anzu moaned, and as she did, I raised the knife and plunged it into her back. I heard her gasp in pain, and her wide blue eyes flash open, flash with hate, with anger, with confusion…and with lust. I hated that look, and so plunged the blade in deeper, screaming with victory as I did. She had her chance to escape. She blew it. Not my problem. I closed my eyes and sunk to my knees. Unexpectedly I heard the sound of slow clapping; I opened my eyes and swiftly stood around. There, in the far right hand corner, was Bakura, leant against a pile of crates applauding, with a smirk on his face. Besides him was a carrier bag. I looked at him and then down to Anzu's corpse. This by the way was still twitching. I ripped the knife from her body, and plunged it in a few more times, before the carcass lay lifeless. I looked at the stab wounds. You couldn't see her clothes for the wounds, or her skin for the blood. I felt proud. I never liked her anyway. Suddenly, I felt dizzy, and the world faded to black.


	10. Warehouse

Cough once. Cough twice, and then suck a breath of air in. My head hurt, everything was black. I felt myself sit up and brought my hands to my eyes. Gently, I rubbed them, feeling my vision return. At first, everything was fuzzy, and I couldn't work out where I was. I coughed again; I must be coming down with something. Everything still seemed blurry, so I put my hands to the floor and felt around. It was soft. I guess I'm in bed. My head began to ache again, so I flopped back into the pillows and rolled over. I may as well enjoy the comfort, who knows how long it's going to last? The bed's lovely and warm, it's soft too. It's been a while since I've felt this relaxed, anywhere. I smile and push all thoughts to the back of my mind.

"_Ryou, I am so glad to see you!"_

_He smirked as she hugged him, it was going to be a fun game, play with the girl a little, and tease her in her last minuets alive._

_Glaring at her face, the look of betrayal, of hate, of lust in her eyes. So many emotions, it's humorous. Why should he need feelings? Why should he need to care?_

I sat up in bed, again. What just happened? I swallow.

"_Ryou, I am so glad to see you!"_

…Anzu? Great, I'm having nightmares. It's just a dream. But, who is he, from my dream, the person the voice talks about. It doesn't matter. It was a dream. Anzu's fine. I smile, yeah, Anzu's fine. Then I thin again, what if she isn't, what if something **has** happened. I instantly reach for the phone and dial her number. Ring one, ring two, ring three. I glance at the digital alarm clock 7:00PM. She should be awake. Why isn't she answering? Voice mail. I hang up. She's probably in the shower. No, she wouldn't be. What if she's hurt? I throw myself out of bed and grab a jacket and a pair of trousers, without caring what I look like and I ran out the door. Think, Ryou, think. Where would she be? I think back to the dream, grey floors, high ceiling. It sounds like the warehouse, I don't know why she'd be there, but I feel as if it's the first place I should check. I ran as fast as I could to the warehouse and begin penetrating each room. My search ended in a room towards the end of the hall, where I found Honda, and Otogi knelt besides a sack. It looked kinda suspicious, so I went in. …It really is impossible to be discreet in this place. My footsteps echoed and the boys stood up and looked at me. Great.

"R-Ryou!" Honda ran over, shaking.

"Hm?" I tried to sound naïve. Honda looked at my eyes, and I looked straight back, he swallowed hard and pointed towards Otogi. My eyes followed his hands to a bloody mess on the floor. My eyes grew wide and I almost chocked on the spot. My dream was real.

There, on the floor, besides a beige sack, was Anzu's matted corpse. I swallowed involuntary. Slowly I began to walk towards her. One foot, two foot, and then I broke into a run and fell to my knees besides Otogi, who was currently twirling his hair around his finger in thought. I curled up into a ball and began crying, I felt like a madman, but I couldn't stop myself. My friend had died, and I didn't know how! Otogi gently placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Hey, don't worry. It's not your fault, but I swear when I find the punk who did this, they'll be sorry." I nodded softly, and squeezed my eyes shut. Make it stop.

"Who do you think killed her?" I can here Honda talking, his voice concerned as ever.

"I don't know but…" the voices fade to the background.

"_So glad to see…you"_

'_A fun game…"_

"_Glad to see you..."_

'_Hate, lust in her…eyes…'_

"_See…you..."_

'_It's humorous…' _

"_Ryou…I'm so glad to see you."_

My heart pounded so loudly I could here it. I knew who the murderer was. My eyes shot open and my breathing become low, and shallow and my body became paralyzed. I…killed…Anzu. I remember, her face, the knife in her back. It wasn't me! I didn't do that, I wasn't me…I did that. I felt myself become stronger, become…braver. I stood up and looked at Honda and Otogi.

"I need to go." I said promptly, they nodded as if their consent mattered and I left.


	11. Tierd

Anzu is dead. I killed her. I feel so…happy? What? How can I be happy after murdering one of the only people to welcome me into Japan? What's wrong with me? …What if Honda saw? Or Otogi? I don't want them to know, to think I'm some kind of ruthless murderer. What can I do? I'll just have to explain it to them, make sure they understand me! But what if they don't, what if they report me, tell someone, I won't be able to take it. I'd die. So, what? What can I do? I need to talk to someone, anyone! B-B-Bakura, he'll know what to do. I turned my back to the scene and ran, as fast as I could. I couldn't see where I was going, my feet knew the way, so it didn't matter. They throbbed, painfully, and the surroundings became blurred lines, blurred by tears, by speed. I reached the front door, and placed my hand against the cold oak and bowed my head. I stifled sobs before I went in, Bakura would not see me cry, I am not pathetic, I will prove that I'm not. My other hand reached up to the steal handle, and my fist gripped the ice. I took a deep breath and pulled downward, loosing my balance, I staggered inside. …Something isn't right. I can smell something, something spicy I think it's chicken…it smells kinda good…

'Bakura?' I shout, and here sudden movement, coming from the kitchen…what is he doing? 'Bakura!' I call again, slowly, I step forward, and cautiously enter the living room, leading towards the kitchen.

'Ryou…is that you?'

'Yeah, are you ok Bakura?'

'Stay there.'

'Fine…why?' what is he doing? Has he messed everything up that badly?

'Just do as I say, Hikari.' Fine, fine. I will. God, he's up to something. Does he have someone in there? I turned around, walking towards the window, to look out at the weather. It's raining again. Bored, I start tracing patterns on the steamed glass. My vision leaves me, and I feel something tie around my eyes. It's silk.

'Bakura?' I question. I hear a quiet laugh. Then I feel something warm on my lips, without thinking, I open my mouth, and something warm, slick and wet enters it, teasing my tongue. Bakura. I reach up, feeling the body, the soft, silky hair, falling at shoulder level, the smooth, unmarked skin, falling to a soft point at the bottom of the face. I wrap my arms around his neck and begin to play with the soft hair, twining it around my numbing fingers. My heart begins to race, and I feel all problems, all reality slip away. After minuets of breathless kissing, grinding and touching, he pulls away, and I feel him smile. He turns my body around and snakes his arms around my waist and buries his head in my shoulder. Slowly, he walks me forward, and I can smell the spicy smell become stronger. Suddenly, I feel the weight on my shoulders, pushing me into a seat. I hear the clacking of china, and my blindfold is slowly removed. At first, everything is white, its too bright.

Slowly, my vision comes back, and I'm sat at a table, with a table cloth, with candles, with dinner, in front of me-and it isn't a take-away. I looked up at Bakura, who was sat opposite me, smiling. I smiled back, my eyes tearing. This is amazing, I mean, he's cooked. For me. I bit my lip, and stabbed the food before me, it looks so colourful, so inviting. I slowly raised the fork to my lips, inhaling the piquant aroma. I put it into my mouth, and the most fabulous tastes washed over me, I seriously cant describe it. I looked up at Bakura, he couldn't have done this.

'Yes Hikari, I cooked this, its Egyptian.' That explains it. He's been cooking this for 5000 years. I love him. After finished, Bakura began clearing up, he's after something, I couldn't help but smile. Afterwards, he swept me off the chair, and carried me into the living room. It was so romantic, so perfect, it seemed so unreal. He turned on the TV, and we proceeded to watch some kind of horror movie, I can't remember the movie, mainly because I was being held so close to Bakura, my mind wouldn't focus on anything. He smelt amazing, clean. He's never like this. I snuggled up close, I just wanted to stay this close forever, he seemed so relaxed, playing with my hair, gently kissing my head every now and then, I glanced out of the window, looking at the blinking stairs, everything, but the present moment washed away from my memory.

I blinked open my eyes, feeling groggy, I pulled myself out of bed, and dragged myself to the shower. I turned the handle and felt the ice slash at my skin, closing my tired eyes, I ran my hands over my face, and through my hair. What day was it? Erm…Tuesday, I think…yeah I think that's right…yesterday I …went to the warehouse…because…damn it I don't remember! For Ra's sake. I think about it…I'll call Anzu, she'd know. Wait…no…she's dead. Images flash back to my mind…then of Yugi. I am a murderer. I won't let it get to me, I won't! Honda, Otogi…I remember now…they needed sorting out…needed dealing with, so they couldn't tell on me. I felt my blood boil and the air became heavy, thick and heated. I opened the shower door and pulled on the clothes I had ready.

I started speed walking down the street, to the game shop Otogi owned. That kid is spoiled, he has way to much money, and he always gets what he wants. I watched the doors open before me. I smiled as sweetly as I could,

"I'm here to see Mr Otogi, could you tell me where he is, please?" The man looked at me, he was tall, really tall, quite a big build, thick brown hair and sunglasses. He probably has a gun or something. I mentally smirked.

"He's in his office. 6th floor." Perfect. I smiled and nodded at the man, promptly moving towards the elevator. A few moments later I arrived on the 6th floor. I tapped on the door, and walked in. I wasn't going to wait. The air felt instantly hot, humid. I could hardly breathe. The smell of leather, and of ink filled my nostrils. I glanced around The office reminded me slightly of Kaiba's. With the full length windows. I saw Otogi stood at a window. I slowly began walking towards him, he obviously hadn't heard me. Gently, I put my hand on his shoulder, and covered his mouth with one hand. He turned his head slightly, looked at me with his emerald eyes. I ran a hand through his pony tail, before twisting his hand behind his back, and pushing him through the glass. Swiftly, just like that-No mess, no screams, no more Otogi. I stood at the edge of the window, and stared down. So much for no mess. His body was limp, and twisted into various shapes, I didn't think a corpse could manage, blood covered the pavement, and instantly people began gathering round. It was minuets before an ambulance or the police came. Thinking frantically, I picked up a glove of Otogi's, then a pen, and began to write on some paper,

'_Dear All,_

_This is my final message to the world, as I can no longer go on. My life has been successful, but always lacked something, and, unable to find it, and confused over my life, I leave you know, goodbye to everyone, I shall miss you all,_

_Otogi.'_

I stared at the ink, it looked enough like Otogi's. I picked up the note, and ran downstairs with it. Bumping into Honda on the way…

* * *

_Hey everyone, I am sooooo sorry it took me this long to get it up, but I will have the story done by the end of the month! Or sooner!_


	12. Afraid

"H-Honda..." I stuttered, instantly a voice echoed in my head…'Stuttering, a sign of weakness...' I mentally cringed, trying to push that thought from my mind. I AM NOT WEAK. I am Ryou Bakura. I am strong.

"Ryou?" He looked at me, angry almost, and then stared at the paper. He suspects me! I know he does! He's going to turn me in, let me rot in jail. No. He isn't. I can't push him, there are cameras everywhere…I half wonder why Otogi didn't have any in his office…then again, knowing him, he probably did 'private' stuff in there, he'd rather people not see. I won't question good luck. I need to stop Honda, I have to. My mind spirals with hundreds of thoughts, and then it comes to me.

"H-Honda…Otog-gi…left t-this note…" I half close my eyes looking as weak as possible, and just as he takes it from me, I let myself fall onto him. Knocking him backwards and straight down the stairs…he must have hit his head as he fell, because there's blood down a few of the stairs. I lay on the step for a while, trying to make it look as if I've fainted, through almost closed eyes, I watch to see if Honda moves. Not a flinch. I groan and sit up. The groan wasn't entirely fake; I hurt my arm a little catching myself on my fake faint. I move slowly, stare at Honda, and pull a mock 'Oh my dear lord!' face, and rush down to 'help' him. I get there, and yep, I am pretty sure he's dead. I mean, there's a chunk missing out the side of his head. It's disgusting! His eyes are lolled back, and his arm is obviously not connected to his body any more. He must have 'fallen' 4 flights. I look around. Hearing someone running up the stairs, I bend down, and hold Honda's hand, making sure it's the one clasping the note, just to make sure, there's a reason for any DNA being on it. 3 men approach me, and stare; I look up at them through teary eyes,

"What the hell happened?" One says. He's wearing sunglasses, and has his slick black hair tied back into a ponytail.

"He must have tripped or something…" I wail, looking devastated.

"Did you see?" Asked another.

"No…I just remember seeing him coming up here, and the next thing I knew, I was laid on the step, Honda nowhere to be seen."

"You know this man?" The other said…what was it, 20 questions?

"Yes…we are good friends…" I sob, trying my hardest to cry. A blond guard puts his hand on my shoulder, and shakes his head,

"I'm so sorry, son." I wail, and stand up, and run down the stairs, straight out the building, past the news crew and home. Slamming the door behind me, I leant against it, and closed my eyes. I felt a smirk come to my lips, and I looked down. I lost all control and laughed. People could be such idiots. I heard footsteps on the stairs, I looked up, to see the object of my desires, clad only in a towel. I smiled at him.

"My my, Ryou." He whispered. "What have we been doing today?" He put his hands at either side of me, pinning me to the door. I turned my head, keeping eye contact with him. I could smell the lavender on his hair, it'd just been washed. Small droplets fell from his glittering hair to my feet. He gently turned my face to his, I looked at his lips and before I knew it, he had me pressed up against the door in a fiery kiss. His wet hands under my shirt, my own hands, gripping the tanned skin on his back. He pushed against me, our bodies touching, not a gap between us, he rubbed his hips against mine, and I moaned gently. Smiling, he grabbed my wrist and dragged me to his bedroom. I was shocked, excited, and afraid. He threw the door open and pushed me onto the bed, ripped off my shirt he laid on me, nipping at my pale skin, leaving purple marks, and teeth marks, with droplets of blood forming. His hand slowly dropping down my trousers, I felt his warm hand on me, gently rubbing. I looked at him, his half lidded eyes; this is what I had wanted for so long, so badly. My breathing was getting faster, but yet, something niggled in the back of my mind. This wasn't enough. I wanted more. Much more. This was great, but it wouldn't satisfy me. I let my hand wander up through his white hair, grabbing a lock; I pulled his face to mine, and huskily whispered,

"Take me…" I stared into his crimson eyes; he blinked, looking almost confused. I couldn't take this, so I pulled him into a slow kiss, and when he pulled away he gently began to unbutton my jeans. I smiled mentally. Suddenly, I heard a knock at the door, whoever did this will pay. Without thinking I went to the window and dropped a vase from the 2nd story bedroom window.

"Don't fucking disturb." I screamed. About to shut the window, I heard a shriek, I figured the glass him someone, so I peered out. Holy shit…it hit Jou! I stare in awe, I'd run down, and help him, but I figure with the blood, he'll be dead. In panic, I lunge for the phone and begin typing Kaiba's number.

"Kaiba" I pant…he groans, damn he must be in bed or something, he has stupid sleeping habits. "It's Jou!" with that I heard a lot of curse words and then finally,

"What's happened?" So cool, so calm, slowly and shakily, I begin to explain. Kaiba wasn't mad-but he sounded tearful, he didn't bother hanging up, he just left. Moments later, the CEO of Kaiba Corp, was outside my house, holding the lifeless corpse of Jou. I could have cried for Seto, loosing the love of his life. I felt sick. I couldn't watch. I felt my eyes burn and clear fluid cascade down my cheek. The salty liquid smouldering my skin. Tears. I haven't cried in a long time. I just sit there, and feel arms ensnare me. I lean back into the warm embrace. I can't do this, the moods gone…I just want to forget what I did, what _I've _done. I felt a wash of guilt over me. I can't take it. I pick up my boxers and wander downstairs turning on the TV. It hadn't been on 5 minuets, before a news bulletin.

"News Flash, the famous CEO of Kaiba Corp, Seto Kaiba, has passed away. A shocking suicide, moments after finding out that his toy-boy, K. Jounouchi, had died. Along with this death, another business man, Ryuugi Otogi, also committed suicide, by jumping from the 6th floor of his office building in Domino. A sad day for the town, this was Ami Kulsaki, from Eye News Domino." I shut the TV off, I couldn't bear to hear it…No more bad news, no more murders, and I couldn't take it. I felt as if I had nothing, empty, alone. I stared at the black TV, and lay down on the sofa. Drifting to sleep, I felt Bakura's long fingers, caressing my hair.


	13. The End

This is the final chapter of 'Hold Me'. I hope everyone who has read it has enjoyed it. It's taken me Way to long to write and I'm also going to finish off all my other stories. Sorry in advance for any grammar/spelling mistakes as this was done on notebook (I usually use word)

Anyway, I own nothing, no characters, etc.

ENJOY!

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I swallowed hard. I glared up at the brown eyes, scarce showing emotion. I sighed. So much loss, so much pain, I didn't know what to do. I slowly leant in to the embrace, I didn't know what else to do. The soft aroma filling my senses, I let my hands drape along his shirt before they finally latched on, a gripping, pleading hold. I sobbed. A great lump in my throat, washed away by a harsh shriek and a cry. I couldn't take it anymore. What had I become? My instincts had drove me to kill, to murder and with each horrible deed, the remorse lessened, my prize become closer. Is this what I have become? Emotionless to him who has betrayed me so many times, hurt me, scarred me and ripped me of all feeling for humans, except for him. Alas, he is not human, he is like a void, a deep, void of nothingness, no emotion, no empathy...no love? 

"Bakura..." I choked, I needed to know the answers, I needed to confirm my beliefs, I needed to know if I was used, if I was loved, if I existed to him. His caresses halted, he looked down at me. "Do you love me?" I whispered, barley audible. I froze,this is what I wanted to know, longed to hear. I bit my tongue as I slowly waited for his delayed reply.

"Why do you need to know?" he finally stated. I closed my eyes. I paused. I hadn't thought of what I was to say when he answered. So I lay there. Enjoying the embrace for a while. Enjoying what I could from the fiends warmth. Fiend. I was calling my...desire, a fiend. Is this all he is to me now? After I had done so much to get so close, after I had risked so much, ended and destroyed so much, is this what it amounted to, I, Ryou Bakura, in love, lusting after some fiend? Fiend. The word echoed in my mind, constant ringing, painfully playing on my brain. I choked.

"Answer Me." I stated. My mind blank. I gazed to the window. Was this it? The struggle I had endured to satisfy him, is this what it came to? One pathetic question. A meaningless, overrated question. I shouldn't care for his answer, It shouldn't matter, as long as he is with me, love should not come into account. A clenched my teeth. I suddenly felt a great weight upon me, I opened my eyes to find myself straddled by the beautiful albino boy. I glared up into his menacing crimson eyes, moments before feeling his soft, spicy lips on my own. I gasped. As I opened my mouth, I felt his gentle tongue coax my own. Slowly they danced, the heat building, the intimacy rising. I felt his rough hands work on my chest, stroking me before gently trailing across to my buttons, swiftly un-buttoning each one. His finger lightly dragging down my flesh before passing on to the next button. I daren't breathe. My now exposed chest, melting under the gentle caresses of the white haired demon. I closed my eyes as I felt his paws move south, to the rim of my jeans. His delicate finger finding its way into the material, skimming my skin. I arched upwards, I wanted more. I opened my eyes, just slightly, enough to see the boy before me. He was slowly moving downwards, removing his hands from my waist line, and down to my zipper, where slowly, he released it. I looked at him through half-lidded eyes, determined to keep my gaze upon him. I groaned slightly as he tugged at my boxers, pulling them, and my pants down, and off. Strewn across the floor were my clothes, I lay bare before my...angel. Hypnotized by his talent and his looks. His soft snowy hair, cascading over his delicate shoulders, His soft scarlet eyes, misty with lust. I felt his warm hand lovingly move down, hovering above my arousal. With painfully slow movements, he gripped my manhood, and began wavering his hand, up and down, up and down. I arched up, my heart beat pacing, my blood boiling. I gasped and moaned. Slowly, he twisted his hand, and I glared, I couldn't take this anymore, I couldn't let him take advantage of me. Not like this. Slowly I sat up, and sharply pulled at his shirt. His eyes widened, and I tugged again, until the thin piece of linen tore. He glared at me. Hesitantly I Shuffled from under him, and in one swift move, I pulled myself behind him and threw him, face down onto the matress. This is what I had longed for, this is everything I had wanted. Was it in me to take him? I shook all resistance from my mind, and reached around to his buttons, which I undid, before sliding off his trousers. Bakura didn't move. Slowly, I lowered myself onto him, and kissed his neck, hearing a low groan, I felt encouraged to carry on. I ran my flat palms along his smooth back with the faintest of pressure, before taking one hand to my mouth, and sucking my fingers. Bakura fidgeted beneath me. He knew what was to come, as he slowly parted his legs. Taking my moist digits, I slowly, and carefully inserted them to his opening, and probed lightly inside my love. He moaned deeply, and again I felt encouraged to carry on. I paced my movements into a rhythm, before slyly adding a second finger. Shocked by the pain, my angel shifted uncomfortably, and I lay down against him to kiss his long, delicate neck, to sooth the damage I had just inflicted. With the most care I could muster, I slowly removed my fingers. The boy gasped gently at the loss. I swallowed hard, before pumping my weakened arousal a few times, before placing it again, at the opening to the currently submissive demon. I pushed myself inside, harshly, and the body beneath me let out a cruel shriek of pain, and so I leaned forward, caressing his hair, turning his face up towards my own, before gently laying my lips on his, and kissing him, showing that I truly cared for him, that he was my love, my one and only, my soul mate. I pushed in again, and the angel moaned into my mouth, before I withdrew, to repeat my actions, over and over again. After some time, I began to feel mind end coming, and I sped up, lustfully plunging into the tight entrance. I felt the gentle boy shudder, before releasing onto the bed. I thrust, barely a few more times, before I also released, but not onto the silken sheets, but into my lover. I sighed, before pulling out, rolling off the body, and laying beside him, catching my breath.

"Ryou..." he whispered. I looked over to him, he was breathless, flustered and tired. He closed his eyes, before pulling my into a soft, heart warming kiss. I pulled away, and looked at his almost sleeping form. "Thank you." he whispered. I don't know how long I lay there, just staring at his sleeping form. Enduring glances at his soft, pale skin and feeling amazed at the creaseless and flawless perfection about his physique. He didn't Stir, or snore or speak in his slumber and I felt privileged to be finally laying besides him. I slowly placed my head upon the pillow, and placed my arm across his chest, before closing my eyes and drifting to sleep.

What seemed like moments later, I awoke to the shrill sound of an alarm, and I turned over to find my love still laying there. I gently caressed his hair, before turning over and sitting on the edge of the bed. I sat there for a while, staring out of the window, onto the streets, watching the rain fall ceaselessly down onto the glittering pavement. The people below hurrying around, clad in coats, carrying umbrellas. I sighed mentally, as I stood up and picked up my boxers from the previous day. Glancing one more time at the boy in bed, I made my way downstairs to the messy kitchen. Finding what I was searching for, I returned to the room I had slept in, and lay back on the bed, next to my love. I smiled, and then gently coaxed him to life, and his red eyes glared into mine. With a gentle smile, I took the knife from behind my back, and plunged it, harshly into his chest.

OWARI

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Hope no-one hates me too much. Reviews are appreciated. 

Anna C.

x


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